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Nourished and Nurtured: A Day in the Life of Our Homeschool (with a nearly...: My homeschool philosophy is based largely on Classical Education and Charlotte Mason . My daughter Alina is in first grade, studying readi...

This is a relative's blog that I thought I'd go ahead and check out, and guess what!? She's homeschooling, used cloth diapers, and is into blogging. I think I found  a blog that I will be reading every day. I just went through her parenting tab, and I like it. Specially the homeschooling- above link- and the Halloween Candy moderation.

She has things on healthy living, 2 books for sell, home cooking, and she's currently studying homeopathy   is that how it's spelled?   so if you're interested, check it out!

Marriage

You know, most people tell you that marriage is a giant thing. That it's a huge decision. That you should think about it. A lot of others tell you that you should have a degree and your life completely set up before you even consider marriage. That if you marry when you're under 25 then you're wasting away your life and dooming it to misery. Well...... someone isn't happy in their marriage. 

Thing is, no one tells you exactly what it entails! Why? Because it's what you make it. You won't end up the same way their uncle's nephew's cousin's friend's lawyer's bartender did. You will end up however you choose to. Yeah, it's not a direct choice because it's more of a mixture of consequences, but not all consequences are bad. 

A lot of people told me I was being stupid for getting married at 19 to a 22 year old with no college degree. People even brought up that no amount of "love" would be able to deal with his Aspergers. That I wasn't strong enough to deal with his disability. I fell in love with him because of who he is, and that includes everything about him. Yes, it was really hard finishing high school and planning a wedding during my spare time instead of "living the life" like most of the other seniors at school. Did I want to live that life though? Not really. 

Right now, my marriage entails waking up at 4:30am, helping my husband get ready for work, doing some early morning chores like putting on a wash of clothes and emptying the dishwasher before going back to bed. Then I wake up at 9am and have second breakfast because I'm a tall hobbit   take a shower, and pick up around our room, baby's room, and bathroom. Put the clothes in the dryer or hang them up to dry, put them away, rest a bit and blog, and then just wait for the love of my life to come home. 

We take a small nap together, and then talk and do finances or take care of things we need to do. Plan for the future, both long term and short term. Hang out at the mall because we're young enough to do that~ (just joking around, old couples should totally go clubbing and stuff.) 

Anyway, the reason I just told you about all that is because that's the average day for US. Not YOU. You might have a different schedule, have the husband as the one who stays at home, or both of you might work, or work from home. There is no set way marriage goes. There is no perfect marriage schedule to follow, or perfect whatever to go by. As long as you are both being smart about finances, being clean and keeping up with your home, and talking and communicating well, then you should be fine. The most important thing is that you both love each other truly, and let that love show. I clean up after David, picking up his dirty socks, his plate from the table after he finishes eating, and the trash he leaves behind him randomly. Does it bug me? Not really. I wish our trash cans weren't invisible to him, but meh~ 

In return, he helps me fold clothes, put things away I wouldn't be able to put away otherwise, comes with me to the doctor as boring as he finds it, and has been taking great care of me throughout our first pregnancy. He does a lot of other stuff, but if I write it all down he might realize how awesome he is and then his ego won't fit in the room. Two super awesome people together, it's lucky we haven't cause some sort of explosion in the universe yet.

The point I'm attempting, and failing, to get across is that yes, you should think about marriage very carefully but not in terms of "Am I too young?", "Is this the right time?", "What will people think?". Think more along the lines of:

-"How will I feel being with them constantly?"

-"Will I mind sharing a shower even though they hog the water?"

-"Do I love them enough to excuse anything they do to annoy me?"

Questions like those. Random things you don't really think about. Raising a child with them. Growing old together. Going through so very many ups and downs that you'd go crazy if you weren't holding on to your partner tightly. This isn't really something telling you what to do and certainly not how to do it, but this is some friendly advice from a young wife that just made it through their first year and knows she doesn't know everything. 

Quickie Post~

I have been having these strange moods where I'm just sad all of a sudden. Not like with my depression, but just sad. It's not the same empty and useless feeling as depression, so I don't understand it. I'm kinda just blaming it on pregnancy mood swings, but I haven't really had any of those anyway. It could just be me misinterpreting stress or worry, but did anyone else have those? Someone to relate to would be nice. 

Onto some nicer topics! 

I get to go out today and take care of some legal crap..... bleh.... But it is necessary, since my maiden name is still on my SSC as well as insurance, meaning that's what would end up on the baby's birth certificate, and well.... we don't want that. I'll also be taking my computer with me, so I'll post something actually interesting later on today. Maybe some drawings or something. Yeah. For now, I will get David's lunch ready and get myself ready to go as well. Hope everyone has a great day and a great time doing whatever it is you guys do. 

Nursery: Am I done yet!?

Hello everyone and welcome to the "Are you sure you have everything?" talk! Today we look at the topic, "But it isn't like all the ones I see online." 

That's my way of poking fun at something I'm finding very difficult at the moment; creating the nursery. Now, it seems pretty simple right? You need you're crib, changing station, and a dresser. Throw some cute stuff around the place and done! 

Haha....... I wish. I'm seeing now that I need a hamper for itty bitty clothes, a few cute storage containers, a larger trash can, something to organize my breastfeeding stuff on the table next to the rocker, a low watt light for leaving on at night, some curtains, a better place for stuffed animals, a place for toys, and pretty much a bunch of other things I really have no clue how to make fit. 

My husband and I were planning on having this room double as a sitting/craft room. Pfft, my beads and his yarn were already dominating all, so with the baby coming in they kinda lost their place. I stuck my beads in my closet, hoping once baby starts crawling around she won't get into them. His yarn is with the beads, but I'm pretty sure he'd love it out in the open. At least it's not getting dusty, right?

Anyway..... I really believe that this baby will not only stick to her room, but also pour out into the rest of the house. Like a cute and adorable roommate that can't change their own clothes or bathe alone........ 

Something else I need, a baby bath thingy. I've got plenty of towels ((thanks to everyone that's gifted them. Torah will love them!)) and I know I won't give her a bath until after the little belly button thing falls off, but it's still one of those things teasing me at the back of my mind. 

I learn from watching, then copying, then changing it up to were I can do it my own way. I still NEED that first experience of watching someone though! I couldn't even buy stamps at the post office on my own! It took forever to get me to order food in person, and I'm still more comfortable with the little talk boxes. I had to watch my mother in law wash a bathroom to know what she wanted me to do. I mean, if someone says, "Hey, could you wash the restroom?" I'm over here thinking, "How? Like, the toilet or the shower or do I have to mop or am I taking everything out, cleaning the walls, and then putting stuff back in? Do you want me to organize it or put things exactly where they were? Should I use the same cleaner for everything, should I not use a certain cleaner? What about a scrub brush? Should I use a washcloth, scrubbing brush, scrub sponge, normal sponge, or just a towel?" because I need a detailed list of what I'm supposed to do, or else I'll freak out and think I'm doing it wrong and then get frustrated and quit. 

Babies don't come with instruction manuals...............


--I apologize for going off on a rant, but hey, that's kinda what this is for. Doctor said to keep a journal to help my depression, so I'm blogging. Thanks for reading! If anyone has any advice on baby basics, NOT PARENTING STYLES, then I'd be happy to hear it and try it out and heed to it.--

P.S. No, like seriously, telling someone that having a bunch of onesies is very important is advice. Telling someone that they should breastfeed and formula feed instead of fully breastfeeding is telling them how to raise their kid. So, advice good! Pushing a certain parenting style on someone, BAAAAAAAD!!!!!!

Aiming for a Healthier Lifestyle

Today, my friend Kat and I went out to the gym to blow off steam for a bit. She talked about how she's trying to eat healthier, be more active, and just be better to her body overall. It got me thinking about the future and present, as well as the past. 

       In the future, I want to be a good example of healthy living to my children. I want to learn recipes that will have the nutrients needed, as well as the right amount of calories. I want them to know the fun in running, and the feeling you get when you see just how far you've gone. That accomplished feeling, knowing your body is capable of just a little bit more. I want my husband and I to do our best to keep up with our children, so that once they're older we will still be there for them. Exercise, in my opinion, is also a great bonding opportunity, specially between moms and teenage daughters.

       Right now, I realize that I must actually stay at the weight I am at. I am sad that I can't do my usual tae bo, and running, nor can I do any push ups or weights. I feel weak and vulnerable. I'm afraid that my muscles will forget what they're capable of and I will have to begin all over again. Not 75 sit ups a minute, but back to the 30 I started with. I will have to work my way back up to being able to do 25 push ups, 5 minutes of flutter kicks, all of the things I used to do! Everything I worked hard to even be able to do! Will I even still be able to run a mile in under 10 minutes!? I want to get in shape, and in the meantime, I want to stay healthy enough to give birth to the beautiful baby girl our family has been blessed with. 

       In the past I've been so careless about health. I ate whatever, whenever, and barely did I push myself. The only thing that made that change was my desire to show those people who called me weak, and those who said I couldn't do it, that I could join the Army, and that I could do whatever I wanted to. Sadly, I was not accepted into any of the branches, despite passing all of the physical requisites except for the Marines, due to having early arthritis and asthma. I had achieved my goal, yet it was taken from me by things I could not control. Arthritis runs in the family and shows up around age 13. Asthma was environmental, growing up in Southern Cali. 

       Yet, all of these things, these experiences, are now pushing me to want to change a few lifestyle habits I've tended to ignore before. I can stretch in the morning. I can do some abdominal exercises by laying on my back and just moving my muscles. I can dance around lightly and try to walk more. Take the longer route to where I'm walking, or just make two trips instead of one difficult one. Eat better, more fruit, things that will accelerate my metabolism. Encourage my husband to join me in this, as well as save up for a gym membership. I know he really wants a treadmill desk~

What Happened While I Was Gone?

              Since my last post was rushed, I thought it nice to actually chill, settle into a chair, and blog about what's been happening in the Rau lives.

              Well, let's start where I left off, which was sometime in July I believe. David and I had moved into our own apartment and he had started going to college. I still had my waitress job, and we were pretty close to home. It started going a bit downhill though, since I got laid off due to lack of business and he began to grow stressed. We had to deal with a lot of things, and go through some rough trials. I then started to feel weird and be really tired and such. I gained a bit of weight as well. We got some pregnancy test, I did them, and there they were, nice little red lines that confirmed I was pregnant. The 3 or so weeks following that were pretty alright, except the stress was increasing as well as we were running behind on payments. I began to get really sick, and we thought it would just pass and I'd be fine, but it didn't. I was too weak to even drink anything, and if I managed it it would just come back up anyway. He was left with all the house work as well as his schooling, and it became way too much. I attempted to get up and do things, but I would pass out randomly, throw up even with nothing in my stomach. I finally hit a point were my body and psyche couldn't take it anymore and gave into my depression. I saw no use in trying to get up or even in trying to keep myself alive, so I just stopped. The baby, sadly, just wasn't real enough to me yet. I was actually angry at it for not letting me have my life the way I wanted it. The apartment was a mess, my husband wasn't being taken care of, and everything was spiraling down. I wrongly blamed the baby, and then began to blame myself. I finally ended in a state that sent me to the hospital, about 4 times, with life threatening dehydration and lack of nutrients. We began to realize just how much we needed help at this point. 
            We let his parents know, and they helped us. We moved out of there and into their home after a bit, and that's where we are at the moment. They are wonderful people, and I can feel their love for me even if I'm not their "real daughter". David didn't go back for his next semester, and he de-stressed himself for a while before looking into getting a job. I began to throw up less, took chewy vitamins, which helped a lot, and was able to get back to a more or less healthy state. I was able to gain some of the weight I had lost back, about 25 or so pounds. He found a job he loves, and we're now saving for the future, and planning our lives a bit more diligently. I'm now at my original, pre-pregnancy weight at 8 months, and the baby is growing well. We are both so happy right now, and we can't wait to meet the little baby we've been watching grow for these past months. 
            
            I'm surrounded by friends and loved ones, and I know that everything will be alright, so long as I have faith in Heavenly Father, as well as in David's ability to guide his family. I might feel sometimes that I am too young to be a mother, and that this is stealing my life, but then I really think about it and realize that this is extending my life. Motherhood is going to bring more happiness than I ever imagined I could feel. I know that. I know it's a special thing us woman are capable of being. Mothers, they are caring and selfless, yet firm and strict. They are so wonderful, and I hope I can be the perfect mother for our kids. 

Baby!

        Just thought I should actually post something about the baby that's on the way, so here you guys go! 

             Husband and I have a little baby girl on the way, I'm currently 8 months, due date is on July 5th, and the shower- as well as my 20th birthday- is tomorrow! Woop! I will post a bunch of pictures later as well, tagged as- wait, can I tag things?- tiny clothes, baby gifts, baby, and cuteness.

This stuff was from an amazing friend of mine that has helped me spiritually throughout this, as well as physically, by making me some meals and such earlier in the pregnancy when I was having some serious issues.